Friendship (ii)

- IPG Teknik, Kuala Lumpur[dissolving in total disappointment]. 10:10AM, 09/10/2012 
What are the other attributes of a very good friend? To tell you the truth, I have no one in my life that fits the bill (but I have got lots of manipulators, ya see?).  Well, at least til now, as far as I could recall. Proceed...
For me, he doesn't have to be that rich, he can buy you a smartphone.
He doesn't have to be that pious, he would wake me up every night to join him in his optional prayer.
For me, he is just that one guy who will do whatever it takes to make you feel comfortable.
And being kept reminded of how bad I am in being a friend, I mean; I do try comparing myself to my own thoughts- I owe everyone I know lotsa apologies. From the day I started to know what friendship is, I've broken many people.
I unattached loving couple.
I united enemies, and watched them burned one another.
I lied in telling that I am not okay, just to be pretentious.
Maybe in life, it is not about what you receive or what you get. Maybe it doesn't matter so much what you have done... much as you value them. Oftentimes, I try to re-value the pain inflicted upon me, and being awkward instead. To myself. I talk to myself, singing alone with this unsettling feeling. I try to make sense of everything, trying to be nice and dandy; trying to make myself worth something or someone. But...
Ahh, what am I talking about!? Quit the telling. Just pictures *wiping tears*
...just hope that one day, he'll realize.

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