Sometimes, I really want to follow the urge to throw myself into the water. My feet would tremble, as my fingers rattle. Whenever I see any sea or lake (when I say 'see' I mean deed gaze), I could see neon lights flickering; red, green, blue and yellow interchange. I will feel dizzy and bedazzled. I could hear the water screaming: "Sven, come on!"
But I do have my sanity. I still do. And to sacrifice it just for the sake of a momentary bath, is a fool's act. And that's how I apprehend myself whenever I really want to do something enjoyable, but bad. God saves us, inshaAllah.